For the strengthening of families and their compatibility with work
Our newsletter topics at a glance
Smoking pot in adolescence – young people caught between curiosity, peer pressure and boundaries
The use of cannabis is more present for many young people today than it used to be. Social debates, a change in legal classification and portrayals in social media contribute to the fact that smoking weed is perceived as "normal" for some. For parents, this is often associated with uncertainty and raises many questions: Why is my child smoking pot? How dangerous is it? And how do I react correctly? This article aims to provide guidance - without condemning or scaring.
Curiosity: why young people try cannabis
Adolescence is a phase of trial and error. Young people are searching for their identity, want to experience new things and gather their own experiences. This also includes testing boundaries - in thinking, in behavior and sometimes also in dealing with substances. Cannabis can appear to be a means of relaxing, switching off or blocking out stressful thoughts for a moment.
Curiosity alone is not a sign of a serious problem. Many young people try it out without using it permanently. It is important for parents to be aware of this difference and not immediately see every experiment as a warning sign.
Peer pressure: wanting to belong
A key factor in cannabis use is the influence of the peer group. During adolescence, the opinion of friends becomes very important. Belonging, being recognized and not being "left out" is crucial for many young people. If cannabis is present in their circle of friends, there can be pressure to join in - even if there are doubts.
Social media also contribute to normalization by playing down consumption or portraying it in a positive light. It is important for parents to know this: Peer pressure often has a stronger effect than bans. That's why strict rules alone rarely help. Discussions at eye level are more effective here than control.
Know the risks – without causing fear
Cannabis is not harmless for young people. The brain is still developing into young adulthood. Early and frequent use can impair this development and be associated with an increased risk of mental illnesses such as anxiety disorders, depression or psychosis. Concentration, motivation and academic performance can also suffer.
At the same time, not all use automatically leads to serious consequences. Risks depend, among other things, on the age of initiation, frequency, individual predisposition and social environment. Differentiated education helps more than deterrence. The aim should be to empower young people to make informed decisions.
Boundaries: How parents can respond well
If parents learn or suspect that their child is smoking pot, level-headedness is crucial. Remaining calm and seeking a conversation builds trust. Open questions such as "What do you know about cannabis?" or "What role does it play in your circle of friends?" enable an exchange without judging.
In addition to openness, clear, age-appropriate boundaries are important. They provide orientation and security. Young people need adults who take a stand without being judgmental. Their own role model also plays a major role: how do parents themselves deal with alcohol or other substances? Authenticity often has a stronger effect than prohibitions.
Take warning signs seriously
Occasional experimentation is not automatically problematic. However, attention is required if the behavior changes significantly. These include persistent withdrawal, a drop in performance, severe mood swings, neglect of interests or frequent secretive behavior. In such cases, it makes sense to talk to the child at an early stage and seek support if necessary.
Talking helps – stay accessible
Cannabis is an issue for many young people - whether they use it themselves or are confronted with it in their environment. It is crucial that there are adults who remain available, listen and provide guidance. An open, respectful approach strengthens the relationship and helps young people to better assess risks. It is not perfection that is decisive, but the will to stay in contact.
Do you have any questions or need individual support?
Our parent & family counseling service is available at any time for further information or individual support needs. You are welcome to arrange a non-binding, personal consultation at:
E-mail eltern@benefitatwork.de | Telephone consultation 0331 231 879 40
Can you juggle everything? A reflection on job, family and own demands
Career, family, partnership, friendships, household, personal needs - everyday life for many people is like a constant balancing act. Parents in particular know the feeling of having to keep an eye on everything at the same time. It seems to have become a matter of course that everything should somehow work: committed at work, present in the family, organized in everyday life and as relaxed as possible. But behind this constant demand lies a question that is rarely asked: Why is it actually so important for me to juggle everything?
Why the inner demand is so strong
The desire to manage everything often has less to do with external expectations than with an inner attitude. "Getting everything under one roof" is considered an achievement by society. Those who carry a lot are seen as responsible, resilient and strong. Parents in particular often experience recognition not for what they feel or carry, but for what visibly works. This standard becomes ingrained - often unconsciously.
Comparisons are also made: with other families, with colleagues, with images from social media. The impression quickly arises that it should actually be possible if you just organize yourself better or try harder. The fact that many requirements are structurally almost impossible to reconcile is lost sight of. Instead, doubts are directed inwards.
It is worth pausing here - ideally not alone, but together. Discussions with your partner can help to make this attitude visible. Questions such as: What is driving me right now? What am I perhaps afraid of? What do I think I have to achieve?
Such reflections open up a space in which the focus is not on solutions, but on understanding each other. It often becomes clear that both parties have similar inner demands - or completely different ones that have never been expressed before.
Priorities can shift
Once this inner attitude has been identified, there is room for the second important step: looking at priorities in a new and flexible way. Instead of asking how everything can be done at the same time, the question can be: What is really important at the moment - and what can wait?
Priorities are not fixed. They change with life phases, stresses and resources. In some times, the focus is on work, in others on family or your own health. These shifts are not a sign of inconsistency, but an expression of adaptability. Relief often arises precisely where it is allowed that not everything has to be equally important at the same time.
Here, too, exchange is crucial. Couples benefit from regularly pausing and clarifying things together: What needs our attention right now? Where have we reached our limits? What can we share, postpone or let go of? Such conversations take the pressure off because responsibility is no longer automatically equated with "carrying everything yourself".
Balancing everything should not be a rigid ideal. A sustainable everyday life is created when expectations are reviewed, priorities are adjusted and responsibility is consciously shaped. Perhaps the real relief lies not in creating even more, but in changing your own standards - towards a life that feels coherent despite all the demands.
Do you have any questions or need individual support?
Our parent & family counseling service is available at any time for further information or individual support needs. You are welcome to arrange a non-binding, personal consultation at:
E-mail eltern@benefitatwork.de | Telephone consultation 0331 231 879 40
After the half-year report: How parents can strengthen their child for the second half of the school year
Understanding the school report as a starting point
The half-year report card is out and school life is back in full swing. For many families, uncertainty remains after the initial relief or disappointment - especially if the grades are worse than expected. The crucial question is no longer what went wrong, but how parents can support and strengthen their child in the second half of the school year.
A mid-year report is not an assessment of the child as a person. It is a snapshot of academic performance within a certain period of time. Many factors come together, especially in the first half of the year: new teachers, changing requirements, personal developments or stress outside of school. This classification helps to take the pressure out of the situation and to look ahead. After all, learning is a process - not a judgment.
Making strengths visible and promoting self-confidence
An important first step is not to focus exclusively on weaknesses. Hardly any child has the same difficulties in all subjects. When parents consciously address their child's strengths and show interest in what they do well or enjoy, this boosts self-confidence. Children who experience that they are more than their grades are more likely to have the confidence to persevere with challenges.
A pure focus on deficits, on the other hand, can quickly create the feeling of not being enough - and this is exactly what weakens motivation and willingness to learn.
Understanding together where support is needed
Instead of accusations, it helps to understand together where the difficulties lie. This is best achieved in conversations that are inquisitive rather than judgmental. Questions about the child's own experience open up new perspectives: What is particularly difficult at the moment? When does learning feel overwhelming? Are there situations in which it works better?
Such conversations show the child that problems are not an expression of inability, but rather an indication of where support is useful. This strengthens the child's self-esteem because he or she feels that they are not solely responsible.
Giving structure without controlling
Parental support is particularly helpful when it provides structure without exerting control. Fixed, manageable learning times, a quiet workplace and clear agreements create security. At the same time, it is important to give the child a say in how they learn, for example.
Trying out different learning methods (e.g. flashcards, mind maps, explanatory videos) promotes a feeling of self-efficacy. The child experiences that they have an influence on what helps them. Discussions with teachers or the use of school support services can also provide relief - especially if they are decided together.
Realistic goals for the second half of the school year
Realistic goals are crucial for the second half of the school year. Big resolutions often create additional pressure, while small, achievable steps encourage motivation. More regular learning, early questioning or a better structure for homework can be useful approaches.
It is important that these goals suit the child and do not primarily correspond to adult expectations. Trust strengthens independence and perseverance much more sustainably than permanent control.
Development needs time and composure
Learning does not take place in a straight line. Regressions, fluctuations and phases of low motivation are part of it. When parents set an example of composure and measure success not only by grades, but also by effort and development, a climate is created in which learning remains possible.
Mistakes can then be part of the journey - not the end of it.
Looking to the future
A difficult mid-year report is not an end point, but a starting point. Parents can strengthen their child by listening, showing understanding and looking for workable solutions together. This type of support not only has an impact on academic performance, but also on the child's self-confidence and emotional stability - skills that will last far beyond the next report card.
Do you have any questions or need individual support?
Our parent & family counseling service is available at any time for further information or individual support needs. You are welcome to arrange a non-binding, personal consultation at:
E-mail eltern@benefitatwork.de | Telephone consultation 0331 231 879 40
DIY ideas for a game night with the whole family
Time together instead of screen time
A game night brings the whole family together at one table - to laugh, cheer and be together. With a little planning, it becomes a real highlight that everyone looks forward to.
1. plan together - create anticipation
Involve all family members in the planning: Each person can suggest a game, then vote or play in turn.
Small tasks also increase anticipation - from setting up the game and preparing snacks to the role of "game leader". Cutting fruit together, making popcorn or preparing small snacks makes the evening special even before it starts.
2. which games suit whom?
Classics such as Ludo, UNO or Activity have been creating a good atmosphere for generations. Quick games with simple rules such as Halli Galli or Lotti Karotti are suitable for children (approx. 4 to 10 years). Teenagers often like strategic or communicative games such as Codenames, Skyjo or Werewolf.
Creative idea: Design your own memory game together with family or vacation photos - personal, individual and full of wonderful memories.
3. atmosphere makes all the difference
A successful games evening depends on the atmosphere: dimmed lights, candles or fairy lights create a cozy atmosphere. Blankets and cushions create additional comfort.
Finger-friendly snacks (not greasy or sticky) protect game materials and cards.
Tip: Arrange a cell phone-free time - whoever reaches for their cell phone first will prepare the snack next time
4. a nice finish
A small, humorous award ceremony - with a paper crown, challenge cup or applause - rounds off the evening. Consolation prizes for the "biggest losing streak" also ensure a good atmosphere.
Everyone lends a hand when it comes to clearing up: Distribute tasks as you would during set-up - so the evening ends together and relaxed.
A game night doesn't need a lot of preparation - just time for each other. And it is precisely these shared moments that are often remembered the longest.
Do you have any questions or need individual support?
Our parent & family counseling service is available at any time for further information or individual support needs. You are welcome to arrange a non-binding, personal consultation at:
E-mail eltern@benefitatwork.de | Telephone consultation 0331 231 879 40
Would you like to find out more?
Our team of experts can advise you on all matters relating to parenting, education and childcare nationwide. Arrange a personal consultation. Your employer will cover the costs to support you in balancing work and family life.