For the strengthening of families and their compatibility with work
What is my child actually doing online – between everyday life, risk and orientation
A look at everyday digital life
Many parents are familiar with this situation: your child is sitting in front of their smartphone, scrolling through content with concentration, suddenly laughing or seeming completely absorbed. From the outside, it is often difficult to tell what exactly is happening. Questions quickly arise such as: "What is my child doing all the time? Is that still normal or already too much?"
One thing is certain: being online is a natural part of everyday life for children and young people today. Digital media is not just entertainment, but a central part of their social environment. This makes it all the more important to take a closer look without making hasty judgments.
Between exchange, entertainment and self-development
Children and young people use digital media in very different ways. They share information with friends, watch videos, get inspired or play games together. Platforms such as TikTok, YouTube and messenger services are an integral part of their everyday lives. For many young people, this is not an additional area alongside "real life", but a place where relationships are cultivated, trends are discovered and personal interests are developed.
The online world also has positive aspects. Children can express themselves creatively, discover new topics and network with others. At the same time, however, it also presents challenges. It's worth taking a closer look, especially when usage takes up a lot of space or other important areas of life take a back seat.
When media use gets out of balance
A critical approach to media is not only reflected in the time spent on it. Much more important is how the child's overall behavior changes. Are they becoming increasingly withdrawn? Does it react irritably when the smartphone is not available? Are hobbies or social contacts outside the digital world being neglected? Sleep problems or the feeling that they can no longer control their own use can also be signs that the balance is out of kilter.
It is important to understand that such developments are often gradual. Digital offerings are deliberately designed to retain attention for as long as possible. Endless scrolling, quick rewards through likes or new content can make it difficult for children to stop in time. This is precisely why they need guidance and support.
How parents can provide guidance
Parents don't need to know or understand everything in detail. An open and interested attitude is much more important. Asking your child what they are looking at or what is exciting about it signals interest rather than control. Joint agreements, for example on cell phone-free times or fixed usage windows, can help to create a healthy framework. It is equally valuable to experience digital media together. Watching a video or trying out a game together creates opportunities for discussion and understanding.
Another important aspect is being a role model. Children are strongly influenced by their parents' behavior. If you are constantly looking at your smartphone, you are unconsciously sending signals that can influence your own media behavior.
Ultimately, it's not about completely controlling or banning the online world. Rather, the focus is on the relationship. An open exchange, trust and honest interest are the best basis for guiding children safely through the digital world.
If you would like to take a closer look at this topic, we would like to invite you to our presentation "What is my child actually doing online?" on May 6. You will receive further insights, practical ideas and the opportunity to ask your questions.
Do you have any questions or need individual support?
Our parent & family counseling service is available at any time for further information or individual support needs. You are welcome to arrange a non-binding, personal consultation at:
E-mail eltern@benefitatwork.de | Telephone consultation 0331 231 879 40
Tantrums in toddlers: What's behind them and how parents can react
When everything suddenly becomes too much
Many parents are familiar with this situation: the mood changes in the middle of everyday life. One minute everything was calm, the next the child is lying on the floor, screaming, crying or pushing things away. Perhaps in the supermarket, in the playground or at home while getting dressed. This often feels challenging for parents. Questions arise such as: Why is my child reacting so extremely? And am I perhaps doing something wrong?
As stressful as these moments can be, they are a completely normal part of development. Anger and defiance in infancy are part of it and have important functions.
What lies behind anger and defiance
Toddlers are in an intensive development phase. They are discovering their own will and want to make more and more decisions for themselves. "Me alone" becomes a central need. At the same time, they still lack important skills to deal with strong feelings.
This means that children feel very clearly what they want or don't want, but are not yet able to control these feelings well or put them into words. This is exactly where what we experience as a tantrum arises. It is not a conscious "being against it" or an attempt to challenge parents. Rather, it is an inner conflict between desire and possibility.
External factors also play a role. Tiredness, hunger or sensory overload can lead to the already low level of self-regulation being further overwhelmed. The reaction is then often more violent than it appears to be to outsiders.
Why anger is important
Even if anger is exhausting in everyday life, it fulfills an important function. It shows that a child is beginning to experience themselves as an independent person. They learn to perceive and express their own needs. This is a decisive step towards independence.
Anger is therefore not the problem, but a signal. Children need these experiences in order to develop a healthy way of dealing with their feelings in the long term. The decisive factor is how they are accompanied in this process. They do not learn by suppressing their feelings, but by being supported in dealing with them.
How parents can react in acute situations
It is often difficult to remain calm in the situation itself. However, this is one of the most important anchors for children. If parents manage to exude a certain amount of calm, this helps the child to regain their bearings.
It is helpful to name the child's feelings. A simple sentence like "You're really angry right now" can go a long way. The child feels seen, even if their behavior is not approved of. At the same time, parents can and should set clear boundaries when necessary, for example if the child is endangering themselves or others.
It is also important not to go into long explanations or discussions at such times. Young children are hardly receptive to rational arguments when they are acutely angry. Instead, what they need above all is security and, if necessary, closeness.
After the tantrum, a brief exchange can help to put the situation into perspective. Simple words are completely sufficient. The point is not to analyze everything in detail, but to give the child guidance.
The parents' own boundaries also play a role. It is okay to feel overwhelmed. The key is to be aware of these feelings and find ways to deal with them well.
Between serenity and development
Tantrums are not a sign of bad parenting, but an expression of an important developmental step. Children learn a lot about themselves and their feelings during this phase. Even if it sometimes doesn't feel like it in everyday life, this time will pass.
Parents do not have to react perfectly. It is much more important to provide reliable support that gives the child security. An understanding view of the child's development can help them to better understand difficult situations and deal with them more calmly.
Perhaps a small change of perspective can also help: the focus is not on the question "How can I prevent the tantrum?", but rather "How can I guide my child through these strong feelings?"
Do you have any questions or need individual support?
Our parent & family counseling service is available at any time for further information or individual support needs. You are welcome to arrange a non-binding, personal consultation at:
E-mail eltern@benefitatwork.de | Telephone consultation 0331 231 879 40
Strong for life: How children develop resilience and mental health
Making children strong in a complex world
Today's children are growing up in a rapidly changing world that brings with it many impressions. They face challenges from an early age, whether in everyday life, at nursery, at school or in social interaction. Many parents therefore ask themselves: "How can I prepare my child well for all this?"
The good news is that it's not about protecting children from all difficulties. It is much more important to give them the ability to deal with challenges. This is exactly where the topic of resilience comes into play.
What resilience actually means
Resilience describes a person's mental resistance. It is often also referred to as a kind of inner strength or "stamina". This refers to the ability to deal with stressful situations, to recover from them and to grow from them.
It is important to note that resilience is not an innate characteristic that some children have and others do not. It develops over time and is primarily shaped by experience. Children learn step by step how to deal with their feelings, find solutions and build trust in themselves.
In doing so, they can and should also experience challenges. It is precisely these experiences that help them to develop their own strategies and experience themselves as effective.
What makes children strong
It is often not the big measures that strengthen children, but the many small moments in everyday life. One of the most important foundations is a stable and reliable relationship with caregivers. When children feel safe and accepted, a foundation is created on which they can build.
Another important factor is the feeling of self-efficacy. Children want to experience that they can make a difference. This is achieved, for example, when they take on small tasks, are allowed to make their own decisions or are praised for their efforts.
Dealing with feelings also plays a central role. Children need space to express their emotions and adults who help them to classify them. If a child learns that all feelings are allowed, they will develop a healthy approach to themselves in the long term.
Last but not least, encouragement is more empowering than perfection. Children don't have to be able to do everything straight away. It is much more important that they are allowed to try things out and are supported in doing so.
How parents can promote resilience in everyday life
Parents can do a lot to strengthen their children's resilience. This is less about big strategies and more about a certain attitude in everyday life. An important step is to take feelings seriously instead of quickly trying to "make them go away". Phrases such as "I can see that this is making you sad" help children to feel understood.
It is equally important to allow mistakes to happen. If something doesn't work out, parents can help their child to find new solutions. This creates the experience: I am allowed to fail and can still try again.
Routines and clear structures provide additional security. They help children to find their bearings and create reliability in everyday life. At the same time, it can be useful to give children age-appropriate responsibilities. Small tasks strengthen confidence in their own abilities.
Language also plays an important role. Encouraging words such as "You can do it" or "I'm here for you" often have a stronger effect than you might think. They convey security and boost self-confidence.
It is important not to protect children from every challenge. Rather, it is about accompanying them and trusting them to make their own experiences.
Strength comes from working together
Parents don't have to be perfect to make their children strong. A reliable relationship in which children feel seen and supported is much more important. This is precisely the basis for mental health.
Children develop their inner strength step by step. They learn to deal with challenges, to grow with them and to understand themselves better and better. Strength does not mean not having any difficulties. It means finding ways to deal with them.
Perhaps a small change of perspective in everyday life will help: the focus is not on the question "How can I avoid problems?", but rather "How can I help my child to grow?"
Do you have any questions or need individual support?
Our parent & family counseling service is available at any time for further information or individual support needs. You are welcome to arrange a non-binding, personal consultation at:
E-mail eltern@benefitatwork.de | Telephone consultation 0331 231 879 40
DIY – creative time for the family
May not only brings warmer days, but also new energy and a desire to get active. Nature awakens and invites you to be creative together as a family and try out new things. So why not take the opportunity to create your own little herb patch?
A small green project can be started on the windowsill or in the flower box using simple means. Cress, radishes or fresh herbs grow quickly and offer children a great opportunity to experience nature up close.
5 DIY steps for your herb bed
- Choose the right plants
Decide together what you want to plant. Cress, radishes or herbs such as chives and basil are ideal to start with and grow particularly quickly. - Design pots and boxes creatively
Paint flower pots or flower boxes with bright colors. This creates small works of art that will beautify your home and give the project a personal touch. - Mix your own soil
Mix the soil together. Children get a feel for what plants need to grow and can actively help. - Sowing and planting together
Now it gets practical: sprinkle in the seeds, cover lightly with soil and water carefully. A wonderful moment where everyone can join in. - Nurture and watch them grow
Take care of the plants together. Regular watering and observation is not only fun, but also strengthens the children's sense of responsibility.
This not only creates a small herb bed, but also valuable time together. And best of all, the first home-grown herbs taste twice as good.
Do you have any questions or need individual support?
Our parent & family counseling service is available at any time for further information or individual support needs. You are welcome to arrange a non-binding, personal consultation at:
E-mail eltern@benefitatwork.de | Telephone consultation 0331 231 879 40
Would you like to find out more?
Our team of experts can advise you on all matters relating to parenting, education and childcare nationwide. Arrange a personal consultation. Your employer will cover the costs to support you in balancing work and family life.