Strengthening families and helping them balance work and family life
Understanding test anxiety – How parents can support their children
The next test is coming up, the presentation is getting closer, and suddenly the anxiety is high. Even though the child has studied, doubts creep in:“What if I forget everything? What if I get a bad grade?” Many children and teens experience test anxiety. A certain amount of tension is completely normal and can even be helpful. What matters most is how children learn to cope with their nervousness.
Why do we experience test anxiety in the first place?
Our brains view exams as important challenges. The body responds with a natural stress reaction: the heart beats faster, breathing changes, and we become more alert. This activation can help us stay focused and perform at our best.
However, if the anxiety becomes too intense, the exact opposite can happen. Thinking becomes more difficult, concentration wanes, and suddenly everything we have learned seems to have vanished.
Parents can explain this process to their children simply: “Your body wants to prepare you for something important. Sometimes its internal alarm goes off a little too loudly.”
When the desire for a good grade turns into pressure
Many children want to perform well, meet expectations, or avoid disappointment. This is understandable at first. It becomes problematic, however, when they increasingly base their self-worth on their academic performance.
Past failures, comparisons with others, or setting particularly high standards for themselves can also intensify test anxiety.
Thoughts like “I am not going to be able to do this anyway” or “Everyone else is better than me” can undermine self-confidence and further increase tension.
This makes it all the more important to teach children that a grade evaluates a specific performance at a specific point in time – not their abilities or their worth as a person.
Recognizing test anxiety and talking about it
Test anxiety does not always manifest as obvious nervousness. Some children complain of stomachaches, have trouble sleeping, or worry a lot. Others become irritable, withdraw, or try to avoid test situations.
Parents can help by taking these reactions seriously without making the anxiety worse.
Instead of saying, “You don’t need to be afraid , ” it might be more helpful to ask : “I can tell the exam is on your mind. What worries you most about it?”
Often, it helps simply to work together to figure out whether the child is afraid of getting a bad grade, having a mental blank, or living up to others’ expectations.
What can help children before and during an exam
Test anxiety cannot always be prevented. However, there are strategies that can help children learn to cope with it better.
Before the exam:
- Start early and break the material down into smaller units.
- Actively practice what they have learned, for example by quizzing each other or working through practice problems.
- Plan for breaks, physical activity, and enough sleep.
- Recognize small learning progress to build confidence in one’s own abilities.
During the exam:
- If you feel very nervous, pause briefly and take a few calm, deep breaths.
- Consciously plant both feet firmly on the floor to collect yourself.
- First, skim through the questions and, if possible, start with a question that’s easy to answer.
You can also practice managing your own thoughts. For example, “I am definitely going to fail” can become: “I am nervous, but I have prepared and will start with what I know.”
It’s important to try out these strategies in everyday life, not just on the day of the exam.
Parents can provide reassurance without putting pressure on their children
Children need to feel that their efforts are recognized, regardless of the outcome. That is why it is worth praising not only good grades but also academic progress, perseverance, and how they handle challenges.
After an exam, asking , “How did it go for you?” may be more helpful at first than asking , “What grade do you think you will get?”
If test anxiety becomes a long-term burden or children increasingly avoid test situations, talking with teachers, the school psychologist, or the counseling team at benefit at work can help identify appropriate support options together.
After all, courage does not mean not being afraid. It means learning to trust your own abilities despite feeling nervous and to tackle challenges step by step.
You can learn more about how test anxiety develops and how you can support your child in stressful situations on November 17, 2026, at 1:00 p.m. during our presentation “Dealing with test anxiety: Guiding children safely through stressful situations.”
Do you have questions or need personalized support?
Our Parent & Family Counseling Service is always available to provide you with further information or personalized support. Feel free to schedule a no-obligation, personal consultation at:
Email eltern@benefitatwork.de | Phone counseling 0331 231 879 40
Puberty in the mind – Why teens suddenly think differently
Just yesterday, they were telling you everything; today, their bedroom door stays closed. Little things lead to arguments, moods seem to shift within minutes, and the opinions of friends are becoming increasingly important. For parents, puberty can raise a number of questions. But there is more to these changes than just a desire for independence. During puberty, the body and brain continue to develop. This also influences emotions, decisions, and behavior.
The brain under construction – What changes during puberty?
Our brain continues to develop throughout childhood and adolescence. During puberty, existing connections are adjusted, frequently used networks are strengthened, and other connections are reduced. You can think of it like a construction site where new paths are laid out and processes are better coordinated.
However, different areas and networks do not develop at the same pace:
- Emotions and rewards: Brain networks involved in emotions, motivation, and rewards undergo changes. As a result, new experiences and social recognition can become particularly important.
- Planning and self-control: The prefrontal cortex, which helps with decision-making and impulse control, among other things, continues to develop well into young adulthood.
- Hormones: Hormonal changes not only affect the body but also interact with brain development.
This does not mean that adolescents always act irrationally. However, especially in emotional or social situations, they may find it more difficult to calmly weigh the possible consequences.
Between emotional turmoil and the drive for freedom
The changes in the brain and body often manifest in everyday family life as well. Emotions can be experienced more intensely, and it is sometimes difficult to regulate them immediately.
At the same time, the need for independence grows. Teens want to make their own decisions, question rules, and figure out who they are. Friendships and peer acceptance also become more important.
So when teens withdraw, it does not automatically mean that something is wrong. Often, they simply need more privacy and space for their own thoughts.
It is important to remember that puberty is a highly individual process. Not all adolescents experience severe mood swings or frequent conflicts.
What teens need most right now
Even though teens increasingly want to be independent, their relationship with their parents remains important. Three needs are particularly central here:
- Independence: Gaining their own experiences, making decisions, and gradually taking on responsibility.
- Belonging: Feeling accepted, developing friendships, and finding their own place in the community.
- Security: Knowing that parents are still approachable and provide support, even when there are differences of opinion.
What may seem contradictory at first is, in fact, interconnected: Teenagers want more freedom while still needing guidance and reliability.
How parents can support their teenagers with greater calm
Not every discussion can be avoided. However, parents can help ensure that conflicts do not escalate unnecessarily.
Take feelings seriously: Instead of saying, “It is no big deal, ” ask what’s making the situation so stressful right now.
Do not force conversations: When tempers are running high, taking a break can help. Sometimes good conversations happen naturally, such as during shared activities.
Allow for autonomy: Teens need opportunities to make their own decisions and gain experience. At the same time, reasonable rules and clear boundaries provide a sense of security.
Do not try to solve every problem right away: Often, it is enough just to listen and think together about what a possible solution might be.
Parents don’t always have to come up with the perfect response. What matters most is staying in communication and reaching out to one another again even after conflicts.
Puberty is a stage of development, not a constant crisis
Puberty brings challenges, but it also opens up new possibilities. Teens discover interests, develop their own ideas, and learn to take on more and more responsibility.
If withdrawal, low mood, or significant changes in behavior persist over a longer period and significantly disrupt daily life, parents should take a closer look and seek support if necessary.
Not every behavior needs to be understood or resolved immediately. Sometimes it helps to recognize the developmental changes taking place behind the conflicts.
You can learn more about what happens in the body and brain during puberty and how you can support your teens on November 10, 2026, at 12:00 p.m. in our lecture “Puberty – Welcome to the construction site.”
Do you have questions or need personalized support?
Our Parent & Family Counseling Service is always available to provide you with further information or personalized support. Feel free to schedule a no-obligation, personal consultation at:
Email eltern@benefitatwork.de | Phone counseling 0331 231 879 40
Health begins in childhood – What shapes us for a lifetime
What does it actually mean to grow up healthy? We often think first of a balanced diet, enough exercise, or regular checkups. But health encompasses much more than that. Relationships, experiences, and the social environment also influence how children develop and cope with challenges. Many of the foundations for our future well-being are laid as early as childhood. Which of these can we strengthen at an early stage?
Why childhood shapes our health
During childhood, the body, brain, and social skills develop in close interplay. Children do not just learn to walk, talk, or understand new things. They also gain experience in how to manage their emotions, build relationships, and cope with difficult situations.
The environment plays a crucial role in this process. Family, friendships, daycare, and school can provide security, a sense of belonging, and opportunities for development. At the same time, ongoing stress, insecurity, or a lack of support can hinder development.
From a developmental psychology perspective, it is therefore crucial to recognize that health does not arise solely from personal habits but is also influenced by our living conditions and experiences.
Physical activity, nutrition, and sleep – Important foundations
In addition to social and emotional experiences, the body needs the right conditions to develop healthily.
Physical activity supports muscles, bones, and coordination. Through play, running around, or sports, children also gain experience with their abilities and learn to overcome challenges.
Nutrition provides essential nutrients for growth and development. Shared meals can also create opportunities for interaction and early experiences with hunger, satiety, and eating habits.
Sleep supports physical recovery, learning, and memory. Adequate sleep is also important for regulating emotions.
This is not about having a perfect daily routine. What matters most are age-appropriate habits and opportunities that can be integrated into their daily lives.
Emotional security – Why relationships are so important
Children learn only gradually to understand their feelings and regulate them on their own. Especially in the early years of life, they rely on the support of trusted adults.
For example, if a child feels overwhelmed after a stressful day, listening, understanding, and calm guidance can help. Through such experiences, the child gradually learns to make sense of their feelings and develop their own ways to calm down.
Reliable relationships also convey the feeling that they are not alone when facing difficulties. This sense of security can strengthen their emotional resilience.
That said, children do not need to be shielded from every stressor. Challenges are also part of development. What is important is that they receive appropriate support and can seek help when needed.
Self-confidence comes from personal experiences
Another important building block is what is known as self-efficacy. This refers to the experience of being able to make a difference through one’s own actions.
Children develop this confidence, for example, when they take on age-appropriate tasks, make their own decisions, or are allowed to solve problems on their own.
Mistakes and setbacks are also part of the process. What matters is not that everything always goes perfectly, but that children learn:“I can try something new, learn from it, and overcome challenges step by step.”
Such experiences can strengthen self-confidence and help children cope with new or stressful situations later in life.
Prevention starts in everyday life and in our interactions
Health promotion doesn’t have to be an additional task. It can take place in small, everyday moments: while playing together, through sufficient rest, by listening, or by allowing children to gain their own experiences.
At the same time, parents are not the only ones responsible for ensuring children grow up healthy. Educators, schools, other caregivers, and the social environment also influence the support and developmental opportunities children receive.
A healthy childhood does not guarantee a long life. Likewise, difficult experiences in early childhood do not necessarily determine later health. Development remains a lifelong process in which change and new experiences are possible.
Growing up healthy, therefore, does not mean having to do everything right. Rather, it is about providing children with conditions under which they can develop well physically, emotionally, and socially. After all, prevention starts small and can be significant throughout one’s entire life.
To learn more about which factors support children’s healthy development and how early prevention can influence future health, join us on November 5, 2026, at 12:00 p.m. for our presentation “Prevention from the very beginning – How children’s health relates to longevity later in life.”
Do you have questions or need personalized support?
Our Parent & Family Counseling Service is always available to provide you with further information or personalized support. Feel free to schedule a no-obligation, personal consultation at:
Email eltern@benefitatwork.de | Phone counseling 0331 231 879 40
DIY Creative Time: Experiencing fall with all your senses
Fall offers plenty of opportunities to get creative together, discover new things, and spend time with one another. Whether it is crafting, reading aloud, moving around, or cooking: Our five hands-on ideas invite you to get to know your own body in a playful way, explore your senses, and create little moments of joy in your family’s daily life.
1. My body and me – Explore, marvel, and read together
On National Read-Aloud Day, read an age-appropriate nonfiction book or picture book about the human body together. Afterward, children can playfully explore their heartbeat, breathing, and movement – for example, by comparing their pulse before and after jumping, or by thinking together about why we sleep.
2. My feelings have colors – Make an emotion traffic light
Make an emotion traffic light out of construction paper: green for calm and balanced feelings, yellow for restlessness or tension, and red for particularly intense feelings. Discuss together how children perceive these feelings in their bodies and what helps them in each situation. Important: All feelings are okay! The colors simply show how intensely emotions are experienced and do not represent a judgment of “good” or “bad.”
3. Fall explorers: A movement treasure hunt
Work together outdoors to complete small tasks: find five different leaves, balance on a tree trunk, take ten steps backward, or collect natural materials. You can then use these to create an autumn picture.
4. Fall cooking for little chefs – Cook and enjoy together
Three simple recipes using seasonal ingredients, such as baked apples with oatmeal, pumpkin waffles, or fall vegetable sticks with dip. Children can help out in age-appropriate ways, learn about ingredients, and discover new flavors.
5. Our family strengths tree – What makes us feel good and keeps us strong
Create a tree out of paper. On the leaves, family members can write or draw what makes them feel good, what they’re proud of, or who helps them. The tree grows throughout November and serves as a reminder of small strengths and wonderful experiences.
Every child discovers the world in their own way. While some enjoy crafts and experiments, others find joy in physical activity or sharing stories together. Try out what your family enjoys. After all, shared experiences, new adventures, and small moments of success can support development and create beautiful memories.
Do you have questions or need personalized support?
Our Parent & Family Counseling Service is always available to provide you with further information or personalized support. Feel free to schedule a no-obligation, personal consultation at:
Email eltern@benefitatwork.de | Phone counseling 0331 231 879 40
Want to learn more?
Our team of experts can advise you on all matters related to parenting and child-rearing and can help you find childcare nationwide. Schedule a personal consultation. Your employer will cover the costs to help you balance work and family life.